Finding Freedom Through Forgiveness - Part 2

Introduction

Thank my teacher, mentor and father – Keith

• He taught me the importance of forgiveness
• With 2 brothers – plenty of opportunity to put this teaching into practice
• E.g. lots of fights – forced to make up, say sorry and hug each other

Last week recap:

Last week we looked at why people find it so hard to forgive

Self deception

• Rationalize – totally over reacted

Self defence

• I'll get you back – revenge

Self image

• Too cool to apologize – E.g. Fonzie

Self protection

• Protect myself – cold sweat thinking about it

4 things to remember about 4giveness

1. 4giveness is 4 you

• When we forgive we are giving ourselves a gift – freedom

2. 4giveness is 4ever

• Peter asked – How many times should we forgive Lord?
• Not 7 times but 77 times (70 times 7 = 490)
• So many times – you can't count – should be a lifestyle

3. 4giveness moves you 4ward

Can’t embrace your future if you are holding onto the past

4. 4giveness leads to 4getfulness

God has given me an incredible forgettory

• Forget the people let alone the things they did
• Often get asked if I remember this or that – truth is I don’t

Tonight...

4 benefits of forgiveness

1. Emotional benefits

Job 5:2 NIV Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple.

• Resentment – To think again to rehearse something
• Nurse and rehearse
• More we think about it the more miserable we become
• More miserable we are the more miserable we want others to be

Unforgiveness won't get you where you want to go

Forgiveness brings peace

Rom 12:18 NIV If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

• Might not get the friendship back – but you’ll get your peace back

2. Relational benefits

Eph 4:32 NIV Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

• Jesus – Took the initiative (while we were still sinners)
• E.g. on the cross – forgive them don’t know what they are doing
• When he died the temple curtain torn in 2

Forgiveness is a doorway

• His willingness to forgive – opened a door for us relationally

Forgiveness is not a feeling

• I’ll do it when I feel like it
• Forgiveness is not natural

Forgiveness is a decision

• Got to decide to forgive – got to want to
• Note: many don’t want to

Love binds people together so to unforgiveness can bind people together

• e.g. divorced woman
• to forgive him is to lose you last connect with him

Forgiveness is an action

• Called to do forgiveness work with those that we have hurt
• e.g. family – apologising to kids – wife
• sorry not enough
• Kath I’m sorry (ho hum)
• Kath sorry (attitude) still in control
• Kath if you took that the wrong way – I’m sorry
• I apologise if I hurt you in any way

None of the above is good enough

• Kath – I was wrong – will you forgive me (asking for forgiveness is key)
• Note: If they say NO – you have done your part

3. Physical benefits

• Playing soccer – corked thigh
• If undealt with can get nasty (story of someone who died)
• Unforgiveness is unhealthy

Pro 14:30 NIV A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Unforgiveness is very toxic

• So bitter – puts you off your food
• So mad – cant see any good

Science...

• Proven link between bitterness and arthritis
• Giving up grudges – heal chronic back pain
• Reduce stress up to 50%
• Note: not all sickness is due to unforgiveness

4. Spiritual Benefits

Mar 11:25 NIV And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

• Many reasons why people struggle to pray
• Unforgiveness is one of them
• E.g. soccer – yellow card – had a go at the ref
• Trying to pray was terrible
• I apologised the following week – prayer great

Effective prayer follows forgiveness

Mat 6:12 NIV Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

• All good at the first bit not so good at the second bit

3 things that should cause us to forgive

1. The example of Christ

• What he has done for us
• Should motivate us to do the work

2. Resentment does not work

• Unforgiveness is unforgiving – it will mess you up

3. All of us will need forgiveness in the future

• Because none of us are perfect
• I’m a sinner – if you don’t believe me ask Kath
• Victory is a place for those who haven’t got it all together