Finding Freedom Through Forgiveness

Introduction

Playstation (Lego Star Wars)

• Started playing - longer I went more frustrated I got
• I was Darth Vader wrong controller someone else was controlling me
• I wasn't in control
• Mitch was controlling my every move
• Give me that controller after all - "I am your father"

Unforgiveness is like that

• It controls your life
• Many lives are being hijacked through unforgiveness
• Spiritually - emotionally - relationally - physically

Even the medical profession acknowledge the connection between unforgiveness and its negative effects on our health

Who or what is controlling your life

• Ex spouse - parent - coach
• Someone who did something to you
• Can't/won't forgive them - don't know how to forgive them

If this is true for you - relax, you're in the right place

Mat 18:21-35 NIV Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (22) Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (23) "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. (24) As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. (25) Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. (26) "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' (27) The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. (28) "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarius. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. (29) "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' (30) "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. (31) When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. (32) "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. (33) Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' (34) In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (35) "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Jesus answers Peter with a story

Man owed 10,000 talents

• Today's money $10,000,000
• Pay day - show me the money
• In trouble if you couldn't pay up
• Took pity - cancelled the debt (v27)
• How would you feel - I would feel very grateful

The forgiven man was owed 100 denarius

• Today's money $11
• What would you do?
• Forgiven servant would forgive - right!....wrong
• He didn't - instead had him locked up

Why would he do that? - Why do we do that?

• Not only do it we LOVE TO DO IT
• We like to hold a grudge

Why is forgiveness so hard to give?

Self deception

• Rationalize - totally over reacted
• What my mother/father did to me
• E.g. being the middle kid

Self defence

• I'll get you back - revenge
• Forgiveness is an act of faith - trust them to God

Self image

• I'm not going to lower myself too embracing
• Too cool to apologize - E.g. Fonzie

Self protection

• Protect myself - cold sweat thinking about it
• So you don't get hurt or let down again

4 things to remember about 4giveness

1. 4giveness is 4 you

• When we forgive we are giving ourselves a gift - freedom
• ForGIVEness

Forgiveness is more for the one who has been offended that the one who caused the offence

E.g. Man who owed 10,000 talents

• He had his debt cancelled - he was free
• His unwillingness to forgive others debts - put him back in prison
• Unforgiveness leads to a life of torture - torment

Unforgivenenss is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die

Jesus set us free - forgiveness will keep us free

• Lords prayer - forgive us as we forgive others
• Jesus set us free - back in bondage through unforgiveness

Many received forgiveness but don't experienced it

• Take it for granted
• Result - they can't share it

2. 4giveness is 4ever

• Peter asked - How many times should we forgive Lord?
• Answers his own question - so sure of the answer
• Peter showing off - 7 times
• Rabbis taught that 3 times was amazing

Not 7 times but 77 times (70 times 7 = 490)

• So many times - you cant count - should be a lifestyle
• Keep doing it till the day you die

3. 4giveness moves you 4ward

• Unforgiveness will cause you to get stuck
  • E.g. like a record
  • You relive same thoughts over and over again

Can't embrace your future if you are holding onto the past

• E.g. holding an apple (unforgiveness) cant pick up anything else
• Take it with you everywhere you go
• Effects your judgement - unhealthy bias
• E.g. feminist - anti men movement
• Jesus stood up for women - but he didn't hate men

Jas 5:16 MSG Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.

• Confess your sins - so that you can live together

Confession - to say the same thing

Mat 6:12 NIV Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

• We are good at that first part - forgive ours sins
• Not so good at the second part - as we forgive our debtors

Note: When you forgive - you become like God

4. 4giveness leads to 4getfulness

• Heard many people say "I'll never forgive them" - so they don't
• They live with it for many years

Talk about something that happened 10 years ago as if it happened 10 minutes ago

People often feel that to forgive is to minimize what happened

• You don't know what happened to me

Forgiveness is not to minimize nor approve of certain hurtful actions

• Not minimizing it - just being obedient to what you want me to do
• Trusting the situation to God

Heb 10:30 NIV For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people."

God has given me an incredible forgettory

• Forget the people let alone the things they did
• Often get asked if I remember this or that - truth is I don't

Conclusion

• Ask you to do something - Bow heads
• Make a fist
• Fist=Something you are holding onto
• Forgiveness = To release - to hurl - let go
• Unclench fist - say I forgive