Love Bytes

Introduction

I mentioned over the past couple of weeks that Jesus revolutionized the world we live in. Through his teaching and example he changed the way we look at each other and improved the lot of many. And if we were given the challenge to boil down all of Jesus teachings and actions into one word that word would be LOVE.

  • God is Love & He loves us
  • He wants us to return His love and to love others

Tonight I want to look at the nature of this love in a message I've entitled:

LOVE BYTES - some observations about love

Read Matt 5:43-48

LOVE was to be a distinguishing feature between Christians and non Christians.

Human love - read definition from Macquarie Dictionary.

While there were several popular Greek words that could be used to convey that definition of love the (eg. Philia (friendship), eros (physical attraction, storge (Parental affection), the NT writers steered away from them and chose to use a less popular word (agape / agapeo).

This word when we look at it's use through out Scripture could be defined as "adopting an attitude of goodwill towards others irrespective of any natural attraction, benefit or compensation." i.e. focus removed from a "getting" love to a "giving" love.

The NT therefore brings a new dimension to the word love, by moving it from the realm of emotion to that of attitude.

The EMOTION of LOVE

Wonderful gift from God but there are several reasons why not a sufficient foundation for lasting relationships or social reform.

1. FEELINGS FLUCTUATE

They are not consistent - they are subject to change and often do so as a result of factors beyond our control.

E.g. stress, business, focus, hormones, level of communication, proximity etc.

This is why so many marriages are in trouble today: People have gone into a relationship based on the strength of their feelings at a moment in time. And while those feelings are great they WILL change over time. (for the reasons just mentioned).

This type of approach is now even being reflected in some of the marriage vows that people are reciting to one another.

Eg. Instead of people making a commitment to one another for "as long as we both shall live" it's increasingly becoming:

  • for as long as we feel deeply about each other,
  • for as long as you're the person I find most attractive in this life,
  • for as long as you can keep me happy by keeping me in the manner to which I've become accustomed etc. etc.

Then when the feelings change, people get hurt

2. FEELINGS DISCRIMINATE

We all have preferences when it comes to people eg. Personality, culture, level of hygiene

Some people come into this life personally better equipped than others

  • E.g. physically, intellectually etc.
    Some come into this world circumstantially better equipped than others
  • e.g. Having a mother that teaches you about personal hygiene can be a massive advantage, as can parents who help with homework etc.

Having preferences isn't a sin, Allowing them to dictate our responses to others IS!

The ATTITUDE of LOVE (God's / Christian / True love)

Based In The Will

  • "A new command I give you..." (John 13: 34-35). For Jesus to command / expect something of us it must be within our control.
  • We can choose to adopt good attitudes and we can make promises about these things (Read marriage vows)

Note: It's sometimes easier to love those we don't know well, because although we may not have "feelings" towards them, we probably won't have "anti-feelings" either.

Seen In Actions

In 1 Cor 13 (& Rom 12:9-21) Paul uses verbs (doing words) to describe love - A person operating in God's love will be doing some things & not doing others

While our emotions may not be sufficiently stirred to "like" someone (eg. Personality, hygiene issues etc) we can choose to see them as a person Jesus died for (just like us) and can treat them with accordingly.

  • E.g. Speaking to someone looking lost / lonely, not ignoring them.

Consistent

Matt 5:48 "Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect"

Perfect = complete, whole, consistent

  • i.e. not spasmodic or showing favoritism, (hypocritical)

Not a love that spasmodically directs itself at those whom we would consider "loveable" at that moment, and ignoring someone the next, but a consistent stream of goodwill towards friends and enemies, family & strangers, the good and the bad - not having double standards - for this was Jesus example to us.

Indispensable

No other gift or quality can compensate for lack of love no matter how spectacular it is. (1 Cor 13:1-3). It's obvious that the Corinthians were using their spiritual gifts and offices with an attitude of competition and not of love. The church was divided, becoming ineffective, even doing more harm than good.

Without love we are offensive (1), amount to nothing (2) & gain nothing (3)

Conversely where there is genuine Christian love people are built up (8:1), encouraged, inspired etc. Because they feel accepted & protected their true potential will be released.

Some Keys for "WALKING IN LOVE"

  • Identify & deal with bad attitudes and out of control feelings through
    • confessing,
    • apologizing,
    • asking forgiveness,
    • repenting
    • making restitution if necessary
  • Focus on the positives - "As I have loved you, so you must love one another" John 13:34
  • Extend the benefit of the doubt - look for excuses to overlook offence (How much does God overlook in your life?)
  • Ask God to help you see people as He sees them
  • Don't get too busy - Read "Good Samaritan study". When life is busy, people change & end up not doing the things they want to / know to / think they ought to do

Apply to marriage - "We've fallen out of love"

Marriage / Divorce stats - 5 year study results

  • Right approach will lead to restored feelings
    • Rev 2:4 Repent and do the things you did at first
    • Spend time together, recreate some of the things you did at first (return to your first love)

Conclusion

The Bible calls us to adopt healthy attitudes that will in turn determine our feelings and not vice versa. May we rise to the challenge and live at a higher plane

Ask Yourself:

  • Am I being led by the Spirit or led by my emotions?
  • Am I too busy to care for people - even those I feel deeply about?
  • Am I reacting to others based on their shortcomings, or seeing their potential in Christ?
  • Am I regularly asking God to fill me with his love for others?
  • Does my name fit easily in place of "love" in 1 Cor 13:4-7?